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Ooogy Boogy

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:16:45 GMT

Well, me and John are hanging out a lot more often since he's moved about 30min farther away. He's the guy who messaged me on yahoo personals to see what I've been up to. We get along really well and he likes the fact that I get all of his jokes. One of them is when you're talking about something in your hand, he quotes the commercial for PSP and says "Its Portable Nuts!" xD I'm still trying to find out whats going on between me and him, but I've always had a habit of opening my mouth and ruining everything by asking, so I'm trying to con my friend Heather into asking him for me as in casual conversation "oh... so, what do you think about heather.... yeah? are you guys going out or what...." ect. I know that it seems very highschool, but I dont want to chance it.

My best friend has got a better job working out at universal studios making those fake dinosaurs for the park. They made him cut his hair which used to be longer than mine so now I can tell him that mine is longer xD

My friend Edwin is still with his psycho girlfriend who makes him feel about an inch tall because she enjoys torturing him on a daily basis. He almost broke up with her, but she was able to con her way into making him stay with her. He still complains that he's still with her, but there is nothing that I can tell him anymore since he already lost my respect on that matter by going back to her and not having the balls to tell her that it was done.

My sister decided to go all psycho on me a while ago and I told her that she had better not talk to me ever again, so about a week after my 23rd birthday, she decides that its a great idea to come over to my house and beg my dad for money. After he gave her about $150, she leaves a message on the answering machine that she needed another $100. I erased the message and told my dad that she's begging for more money because she's an ungrateful bitch. My dad felt the same way and has not given her any more money yet. She keeps using my niece as leverage when asking my dad for money and saying that the $150 was to help her get a job, yet on the message she left, it was about getting a car even though she already has a car thats currently working. My sister has a really bad drug habit so we think that maybe she just wanted some extra money to get her high.

I've recently been addicted to this one game called MapleStory. The game is actually free to play and thats why I like it. I have about 5 characters and 2 of them that are over lvl 35. I got bored of the people that I knew on the khiani server so I went and moved everything over to the Bera server because more people that I actually knew off of the game played on that one. I'm trying to get john on the game so I can help him level before I get too high of a level to help. With MS, if you're a really high level helping out a lower level, you get most of the exp leaving the lower level only getting 0-1exp per kill when they could be getting up to 15exp.

Its official

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 04:32:33 GMT

I signed up for match.com and the only person to reply was some dude that I already knew from clubs in downtown orlando. Its pretty sad that he likes my friend mongoose... but, atleast I got a reply, right? Yup, my luck is awsome!
I also signed up for yahoo personals and eharmony.... on yahoo personals, I got a response from a guy that I knew already and he was just messaging me to see what I had been up to. On eharmony, all of the 'matches' keep puting my profile 'on hold' so.... yup.
I've been harrassing my best friend more than usual because I just get so bored staying home all night sitting at the computer, at least he puts up with it.

Life 2.0

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 23:12:02 GMT

Well, I'm working at a customer service job where I answer retarded questions for vacation packages. The dude that I was with for 4 months ended up breaking up with me the sunday after valentines day and informed me that we were nothing more than friends with benefits, so that kind of sucked major ass. My sister got re-admited into an insane assylum. Thats pretty much all for now lol
Here is a picture of what I look like now:

Weirdness

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 07:54:24 GMT

Well, after a year, I decided to AIM Frank and see how he's been for the last year. He's just recently gotten out of the hospital and has no insurrance, you can donate to his girlfriend/fiance/wife personchick (dont really know which she is) to help pay for the medicine

Yaddayaddayadda I got $200 as a christmas present from my uncle and I kind of feel bad about it now because I used that money to buy gifts.... ._.

Mr. Hottie McAwsome -the guy I'm with now- is more awsome everyday. We talk all day and night and once a week we hang out (he lives 40min away) its so much fun! We watch TV, go shopping, go out to eat, make fun of people, make random jokes, and what not. -I LURVZ the cuddling- For those of you who dont know him, he works for the WinterPark Police Department as a Communications Operator (911 Op.) so its more like a desk job and lets me not have to worry as much. ^^; Its even better because I found a really nice guy whom I like and he has a job, a car and his OWN house :o

I just lost my job today (well.... yesturday now) because I got tired of my manager yelling at me and so I called him an asshole. I pretty much was very pissed off seeing as he had just yelled at me infront of everyone who was in the store and an employee said to me "Is he allowed to yell at us like that?!" and I said "No, he's just being a FUCKING ASSHOLE" -ergo I lose job.

My sister is back in Florida now breaking away any wanting for me to go up towards the Philly/Jersey area. I still talk about it from time to time, but the wanting isnt there anymore. Anywho, she's supposed to be over around 11am-ish... I PRAY that she doesnt try some bullshit again and scream and make me call the cops on her..... o.o;

Oh, and here is what I look like now:

Hot

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 09:30:04 GMT

I really dont know what to say about this. I met a guy online and we both wanted to see Narnia, so we met up at the mall and watched it. He's actually a very nice person who just happens to be extremely beautiful. We've been talking for the last two weeks since and I ... I think I'm falling for him
I dont know whats to become of it, but I really like this guy. He's pretty much everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Its almost like a dream that I hope I dont wake up from.

Well, what did you know?

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:45:30 GMT

So, anyways, this douchebag at work asked me out to watch a movie later on tonight to watch The Corpse Bride. I've also been having this jerkoff who sold me a car keep calling me demanding for his license plate that he recieved the day I bought the car since he was bitching that he needed it back THAT day. A friend of mine who I havent talked to in FOREVER finally got a computer and I just talked to him online yesturday, he's still the same ... nothing has really changes besides the fact he's listening to more techno than industrial.

You're probably wondering why I'm online so early in the morning... I HAVE THE DAY OFF BITCHES! Thats right, I have a day off and I thought I'd post and rub it in your faces! HA! The downside of this is that there is NOTHING on television.

My sister is supposidly moving back to florida in november... Whoopdy freaking da. She can stay in Jersey, the nutjob. I also talked to my brother recently who is back in Iraq. The only time that asshat talks to me is when there isnt any free ass easily availible. He's the dumbass who moved in with some chick he met online who demanded that he not even talk to his family because she was jealous that he had sisters who wanted to talk to him, what a freaking cunt.

Ever wonder why the news seems to be on for 24/7 even when they've run out of ideas and start to report on lame ass things like "Dog was treated for cancer takes his first step!" and all of those other lame headlines that shouldnt be news to begin with? I DO! I wonder why I have to hear about Fido while I'm trying to find a decent program to watch that isnt an infomercial.

I need to find a 24hour Blockbuster around here.... I guess its just time to turn on the Discovery channel and just have it playing in the background as I try to find something more entertaining to do.

I just tried thise new Febreze Aireffects thing and... damn... it works. Its about damn time I can find something to get that nasty funk out of the living room since my dad gets all drunk and passes out and the whole area smells like day old beer. Bleh.

I'm just looking at some of the paid account options for livejournal.... WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY NEED TO CALL IN A POST?! God damn it, get a fucking life. That idea is probably for those soccer moms that use their cellphone on the road and end up causing 20car pileups.

Anywho, bitches, I'm going to find something better to do. BYE!

Long time no postie

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 01:06:04 GMT

Blahblahblah The End.

sappy post, please dont read

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 08:06:39 GMT

After all this time... I'm still in love with one person. Its affected every relationship I've been in. I'm still single because I'm still in love. Nothing I can say will change anything. It still wakes me up in the middle of the night and makes me cry. It hurts. I know that no one online has ever known me, so you wouldnt understand what this has done to me. I've disowned all of my friends and started living a life of solitude. I just cant be around anyone because its just a reminder. My birthday is comming up soon. I'll be 22 this year. Its been almost 2 years since I even talked to the person who has turned me into a sappy little cry baby. This isnt me... Heather isnt supposed to cry herself to sleep over a guy she hasnt even talked to in years. Heather is supposed to say "Oh well" and move onto the next guy. I guess Heather moved out and all thats left is an older prude. I'm very unhappy now. I buy pretty things to make me look pretty and end up staying in my room all dolled up. I just cant be around people anymore. I find that when people are around, I get pissed off because they want to tell me their life story and I really dont care.I doubt he even remembers my name.I'm still trying to find myself.

Asshats.

Fri, 20 May 2005 03:30:56 GMT

I just got the "You're alone because you're a bitch" talk. Three people ganged up on me explaining how and why I'm a 'bitch' .... They've also told me that I should atleast go out to bars and meet new people and whatever. Since I'm either asleep, at work or on the computer... Its obviously not enough 'socializing' for them. Fucking emotional little bitches. One started crying when I told him to shut the fuck up and live his own god damn life, and to leave me the hell alone. They're renting out rooms in MY house, fuck them. If they dont like it, they can LEAVE.

HighSpeed

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 06:23:01 GMT

Now that I have cable, let me leech off of your music files! >:o

YOU DONT READ MY JOURNAL, LIAR!

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 04:17:39 GMT

Anyways, I'm working in the photo department of walgreens right now and supposidly, they're going to let me train to work in pharmacy :) Chris has recently been back from vacation, but he's been too busy at work to hang out. My dad has rented the other 2 rooms and the front porch out to renters so that he doesnt have to work, and since the front porch (its roofed and has screen around it) is infront of my bedroom window, I cant change or sleep in the buff again until I get something thick to cover the glass. I'm trying to quit smoking again... Its helping because I'm not taking any cig breaks at work and I smoke 2 before work and 2 when I get home and then 2 before I go to bed :) I'm getting there slowly but surely :D

Hm..

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 00:32:49 GMT

Well, I got a car now, but its only for being Ms. Taxi for everyone. If I want to use it for something I want to do, I get bitched at. I've decided that Mr. 3balls was just some random ass that I dont need to talk to. I was starting to talk to another kid named Chris and he seems pretty cool. I'm waiting for him to get off of vacation from a renicance fair. Anyways, I've also been trying to get a job as a pharmacy tech at the walgreens next to my house and I hope I get the job :)

I-Bar

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 01:57:15 GMT

Ok... I got a ride to I-bar and a ride home now. I've decided that I'm going whether or not that guy shows up since I havent heard from him in a few days. I've taken the liberty of inviting a few people that I know so that even if the ass doesnt show up, I'll still have a fun time. :)

Happy VD

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 02:07:18 GMT

Happy VD everyone. I hope you and your loved ones had a great time. The guy I was talking to just all of a sudden dissapeared....After not hearing from him in a few days, I sent him an email. I dont know if he hasnt been online or just deleted it. I spent mailing a few people VD e-cards because I lack the funds to send them real ones, but its the thought that counts right?
I actually was supprised, my dad bought me a VD present. Its really cute. It has a silk rose in it and he said its because it will be one of the flowers I own that wont wilt away when fall comes. I was suprised because I wasnt expecting anything today. I dont have anyone special in my life and I dont have friends that would actually think of me on VD because they'll be thinking about the people they love. This is a holiday that messes with the single people who actually dont like to be alone.
I've noticed that VD is the one single holiday that I've actually been home alone. Its kind of odd when I can take a most precious holiday and chop it up and start bitching... I'm trying to stop that.
My sister is still trying to find an appartment, turns out that the one she wanted was rented from underneath her. She had already made the downpayment for it, but the place refunded her money. She found a better appartment in the nice section of the same town near A.C. in Jersey. The longer I stay here, the more I realise that moving up there would be a good idea. I need a change of scene. I'm just not a Florida person, this state just doesnt agree with me. Most of my bad memories during my life have happened here. I just need to leave and get away from all of this crap.

Edit: Whoa, Chris got off of work today early and I got to talk to him. It was so cute, he asked me to be his valentine LOL

intresting strokes chin hm...

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 10:35:51 GMT

Yeah... ok... so....

Like a few years ago, I signed up for that yahoo personals thing. I've had a few responses from it, but none that would actually stand out enough and impress me enough for me to want to go and meet the person. So, I got another response a few months ago and only recently checked my account. SOOOO.... *cough* http://photobucket.com/albums/v219/heatherl0l/Chris/
We were talking on messenger for a while, I had a few laughs...

Chris (1:02:19 AM): I work on park avenue in winter park... ever heard of it?
Heather (1:02:33 AM): uh... YEAH
Heather (1:02:34 AM): lol
Chris (1:02:43 AM): oh ok
Chris (1:02:48 AM): just checking
Heather (1:02:49 AM): i live in wintersprings, like about 20min from winter park
Chris (1:02:56 AM): thats where i work
Chris (1:03:13 AM): and live
Heather (1:03:17 AM): ah
Chris (1:04:25 AM): and... if i wasnt half naked and in bed and looking like crap id turn on my webcam and show you where i live
Heather (1:04:47 AM): LOL ok

Heather (1:11:44 AM): dont get me wrong, i go on dates ... they just never turn out into second dates
Chris (1:11:52 AM): well... maybe we can fix that
Heather (1:12:11 AM): lol you think so huh?
Chris (1:12:36 AM): i'd like to think so
Heather (1:12:49 AM): heh ok

Heather (1:27:12 AM): shit, i dont even support humanity
Chris (1:27:19 AM): lol
Heather (1:27:33 AM): when a whole group of people die, i just say "good, it helps with the mass population"
Chris (1:28:44 AM): you know... to alot of people you would be pretty strange... but i kinda dig your unique perspecives on everything
Chris (1:28:55 AM): i like unique alot
Chris (1:29:07 AM): i hate carbon copy cutout people

Chris (1:42:25 AM): you, my friend, are a question wrapped inside enigma

Heather (2:08:15 AM): i wanted to move to philly for the longest time, because i was head over heels for this guy up there
Chris (2:08:45 AM): give me 6 months and ill give you a reason not to leave
Heather (2:08:51 AM): LOL
Heather (2:08:55 AM): you're on
Heather (2:09:03 AM): sounds like a bet to me
Chris (2:09:21 AM): im a gambling man
Chris (2:09:36 AM): and the odds are in my favor

Chris (2:13:11 AM): only thing ive ever done crazy like that is take nude pics of myself to prove i had 3 balls... lol... more info than you needed to know
Heather (2:13:22 AM): LOL

Heather (2:18:05 AM): i had never seen a penis that would get so small, it would litterally go inside his body
Chris (2:18:12 AM): lol
Chris (2:18:28 AM): he had an innie

(looking at chris' pictures)
Heather (2:36:01 AM): aww
Chris (2:36:36 AM): people say awww after a dog has been run over
Chris (2:36:49 AM): give me some credit
Heather (2:36:53 AM): nah, i just say "cool... someone poke it"
Chris (2:36:59 AM): lol
Chris (2:37:45 AM): not too unattractive for ya i hope
Heather (2:38:03 AM): oh come on, i'm not that shallow, why dont you give ME some credit
Chris (2:38:31 AM): sorry i was fishing there... acually
Heather (2:38:36 AM): yeah, i know ;)
Chris (2:38:36 AM): lol

Chris (2:45:12 AM): then find a one-woman-man
Chris (2:45:23 AM): for yourself
Heather (2:45:28 AM): i plan on to
Heather (2:45:30 AM): lol
Chris (2:45:43 AM): gimme six months
Chris (2:45:44 AM): lol
Heather (2:45:46 AM): LOL
Heather (2:45:51 AM): ok
Chris (2:46:04 AM): ill wear you down
Heather (2:46:16 AM): you'll break my wall of defense, huh?
Chris (2:46:31 AM): i will do my very best
Heather (2:46:37 AM): hehe ok

Heather (2:48:33 AM): i'm just sitting here with my "bring it" attitude
Chris (2:48:59 AM): ok i will then
Heather (2:49:06 AM): lol ok

Chris (2:52:44 AM): i think you might be a tough nut to crack... but i will have fun trying
Heather (2:52:59 AM): lol i'm sure you'll get bored eventually
Chris (2:53:42 AM): i watch the history channelevery moment im at home
Chris (2:53:52 AM): i dont bore easily

Heather (2:57:08 AM): i have this strange love of the german language
Chris (2:57:31 AM): me too... i always wanted to understand all that porn on my computer
Chris (2:57:33 AM): lol
Heather (2:57:43 AM): XD

Okies, thats the just of what was said, it was alot more, but I cut it down. Eh... I dont know...

what?

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 06:57:32 GMT

I dont know what the hell I did that was so wrong, but I know that whatever it was, I'm paying for it. I'm so confused about everything, I dont know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to, no one to tell whats really going through my head. I just want someone to talk to, anyone. Someone who wont judge me before they get to know me.

I feel so isolated.

I wish my heart would turn to stone already and be too jaded to even care.

Everytime I miss someone, I always end up sounding like I'm obsessive about them. I dont mean to, I really dont. The only place I can talk about it seems to be online in my little journal because no one wants to sit down with me and talk to me.

A few choice people run through my mind alot more than others... I miss them because I cared for them dearly at one point. I still do for a couple of them. One seems to stand out more than others, but since I hate talking about that person because it makes me cry, I'm not going to explain.

I dont belong here.

I think the reason my friends dont hang out with me is because they're embarrased to be seen with me. Who would want to hang out with a fat, ugly chick? No one. I even get accused of being crazy alot, just because I get too excited when people actually want to hang out with me. I'm a loner, a loser, a rat. Shit, I even hate myself. I dont blame my friends at all.

Cont. WORST.WEEK.EVER!

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 01:23:42 GMT

Saturday: I woke up at 9:45am and find out that Aida had been back from Vero Beach, but she left again to take Mike (a tenant in my house) somewhere. I don’t hear anything until around 5pm from Mike. Now, I haven’t talked to either Tom or Aida since all of this happened, so I only hear what Mike knows about what’s going on. Turns out that Tom was only going to give me $150. Tom had said that I’m only getting paid for the hours that I drove (and nothing from the work I did because supposedly, someone always had to come behind me and fix my work. I had told Tom that I knew nothing about construction before we even left his house in Maitland.) and that he was only going to pay me minimum wage. I was also informed that money was deducted for the hotel stay (The whole $140 was deducted even though I wasn’t the only one staying in the room) , gas (for the company truck that I didn’t even own and wasn’t reimbursed for), and my alcoholic drinks from the bar (the reason I didn’t pay for my drinks is because every time I went to pay for it, I was told not to worry about it and to put my money back in my pocket because it was covered). Tom also had told Mike that Tom had a letter he wanted me to sign and was directed to do so by his lawyer. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to sign anything until I talk to a lawyer. If he wants to get lawyers involved, by all means, get them involved. Mike also said that Tom had said he had done some snooping around and said that I download porn onto my computer. I told Tom that, myself, and he already knew about it since the first day I started work there. I don’t lie to people. Yes, I have porn on my computer. Yes, we have porn at my house. No one under the age of 18 lives here and it doesn’t harm anyone. I think that its funny that Tom is trying to use scare tactics to get me to fold. I can bet on the fact that he doesn’t know ANYTHING about me unless I told him, or one of the other people in the group. He can try to pressure me all he wants. Its not going to work.

An hour after I first posted this, my (unnoficial) boyfriend broke up with me. I almost got thrown out of my house. This makes the fifth day I've had several people call me a "stupid fat bitch." I just dont know what to think anymore... I'm so lost...

WORST.WEEK.EVER!

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 00:48:49 GMT

Here is a list of everything that has happened, in numeral order (by day):

1. I got asked to take a driving job around 6am because a friend of this guy I know needed someone to drive his truck since no one who works for him has a valid license. So, I go over to where the truck is and the fucker is already broken down and they're in the process of trying to fix it. Ok, I drive these complete strangers over to this house thats about 118 miles away from Orlando to go do drywall or what the fuck ever. The guy who owns the business and the truck starts flirting with me and I think nothing of it. I meet the owner's (tom's) sister, Peewee. She's a fucking bitch, let me tell you what. Around 9pm, Tom says that we have to stay over near the house so we can finish the work the next day (i was only supposed to drive, but Tom made me work with drywall and framing out windows). So, we get a hotel room (the only room left in the whole fucking town) and it only has a bed and a couch. I'm there with 5 other people.... Before we went to the hotel, the fucking steering belt snaps...After we were finished for the day, we all went to a bar. We all got back into the truck and started driving off when Peewee and her boyfriend start yelling at each other and shit... I had enough of it, so the truck was stopped and I walked back to the bar we were at so I could call the cops because as I was walking, Pewee's boyfriend was dragging her back to the truck by her hair. HELLO, CAN WE SAY DOMESTIC ABUSE?! I got about 3 hours of sleep that night...

2. At 9am, it took the 5 other people two hours to put in the new steering belt... 5 fucking people... 2 hours.... go figure. We go to the house and start working again. Around 6pm, Tom told everyone to pack it all up because we were leaving for the day. Tom hands me 60$ for all of the work I've done so far. So, we get back in the truck and the damn thing stalls as soon as I got the engine to turn over. It took another hour for those 5 lame asses to fix it again. Since no one told me which exit to take off of the interstate, I take the wrong one and end up about 3 hours out of the way. I have night blindness, so I'm trying my hardest to not swerve. So, we're about 20 min away from Tom's house to drop everyone off when a cop pulls me over. I'm thinking WTF did I do?! Turns out the moron who was sitting in the bed (the back of the truck) had his head in the way so that the cop couldnt see the temp tag. I was scared out of my mind. Peewee and her boyfriend (kelly) had just smoked half of a joint and had a shit load of beer bottles and two open bottles in a case by Kelly's feet. I was so worried that I was going to go to jail because of Peewee and Kelly. After reinforcements came, everyone was patted down and had a background check done. I WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH A CLEAN FUCKING RECORD. I got searched twice because everyone else had box cutters (razorblades) on them and I didnt, so I guess they thought I must have had something else on me. Even though the other three people with me had warrants and shit, the cops let us all go. We didnt get back to Tom's house until around 2am. Since Tom didnt want to drive me home because he was sick, I had to wait an hour for the other workers to empty the work truck out so I could drive it home. I found out that Kelly had swallowed the joint as soon as the cops showed up and that the temp tag on the truck was fake. I was so fucking tired.... I didnt get home until 3am.

3. I wake up around 5:30am so I can take the truck BACK over to Tom's to pick Peewee and Kelly up to go back to the job site. As if I didnt learn that I should have quit the day before, I'm just setting myself up for this shit... The truck breaks down in the middle of no where and we had to wait two hours for the home owner of the house we're working on to come and pick us up. So, we go over there and finish the work. We had to wait until 12am for Tom to come and pick us up since the truck caught on fire and wouldnt start. Here comes the fun stuff [/sarcasm]. Tom decides that we should all go to a bar. So, I get a little buzz going on and we needed to leave. Tom races over to the nearest 7-11 because 1am is the cut off for alcohol over in vero beach. Tom picks up some beer and decides to smoke some meth in the bathroom and then we left to go back to Orlando. By this time, Tom is swerving all over the road and we had to stop so Kelly could drive because I'm not getting behind the wheel of a car after I've been drinking. We're on the interstate when there was this really stupid song on the radio and I changed the station. Peewee didnt like this, so she started bending my fingers back as I was trying to find another station. I'm buzzed, so I'm not feeling any pain. When she realizes that its not hurting, she turns to me and slaps me right in the face. Since I dont hit other people, I just sat back and started to cry. Tom tried to calm me down, but it wasnt working. Kelly pulled over into a gas station and him and Peewee got out of the truck and headed into the store. I'm still crying (not really boohoo crying, more like I'm just silent with tears streaming out of my eyes). Tom tells me to stop crying and starts licking on my ear. When I ignore him, he starts rubbing on my breasts as if its ok. (Tom is married and has 4 kids, he's been married for 14 years and is old enough to be my dad). As soon as Peewee and Kelly start walking out of the store, Tom stops. I was so pissed off about being slapped that I couldnt move and I didnt want to do anything that would prevent me from getting safely home. So, we're going back down the interstate and Peewee is still talking to Kelly about how I thought I could get away with what I did (which was to change the radio station). I get dropped off at home around 4am.

4. I get woken up at 6am to go with Aida (the nasty bitch who was the mother of the guy (george) who asked me to drive for tom) to go back over to vero beach and call AAA to come and get the truck. I wake up so fucking mad about everything that has happened, I just snapped at my dad and yelled about everything that had happened within the previous days. This pisses my dad off. I walk over to Aida's house and help her take out some tables out of the bed of her new-used truck. I walk into the house and sit down in the living room. Linda (who rents a room from Aida), was at the sliding glass door that leads to the back yard and knocks over a few mattresses that were leaned up against the closed side of the slidding glass door. I go out into the back yard to help her put them up and I make sure that they wont be knocked down without someone trying to force it. I go to walk back inside and dont think to look up. Linda had propped the headboard of the bed against the door where you could still get through, but you had to duck. I didnt think about her doing that so I go to walk into the house and get nailed right in the nose by this piece of wood thats sticking out from the headboard. So, now I have a big gash across my nose....fucking great.... I go back home and around 12pm, I try to get some sleep since I havent been able to for more than a few hours in the last few days. My dad comes into my room around 3pm and tells me that Tom's wife is looking for me. I go to walk outside and it turns out that dad had called George (Aida's son) and told george about everything that happened to me. George then tells Aida and Tom about it. Tom's wife was there to find out if any of it was true. I told her everything that happened and she walked off crying her eyes out. I found out that dad had told George that if I dont get paid the amount of money I should have gotten instead of just the 60$, he's going to take them to court. After mostly everyone was gone, dad tells me that we're still taking them to court and that he just wants me to get the money I should have received for the work I did before calling a lawyer.

Yes, all of this within 4 days....

Why even bother?

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 10:23:01 GMT

As you probably guessed, I stayed home for NewYears. I was supposed to go to my 'bestfriend's party. He was supposed to pick me up before he got home, but he forgot and by the time I called, it was already too late and there were too many people there already. So, I couldnt go to a party I had planned on going to for 3 whole months. I sit back and think to myself "Why do I even bother planning anything if I'm just going to end up at home like I do every other time?" Its nice to see that other people are happy. I want nothing more than to see my friends happy in their lifes, even though they probably forget about me 90% of the time. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to make myself happy. Its hard when you have so many obsticles in your way. I just wish that one day, I'll be happy too. I actually cried tonight when I found out that I couldnt go to the NewYears Eve party my 'best friend' was throwing. I havent seen any of my friends in over 3 months because they're always too busy. My sister called today and laughed when I said I wasnt seeing anyone at the moment because I'm usually always talking about this one guy and how much I wanted to be with him (for the last two years). Believe me, I've tried getting dates. I've been on about four dates in the last 10 months, but I always seem to fuck it up some way or another and the guy never wants to talk to me again. What the hell is so wrong with me?! I mean I'm nice, and kind, and supportive, and I know how to listen to other people, and I try to act happy infront of them even if I'm very very sad at the time, and I always try to bring up conversations that I think the both of us would enjoy talking about. Yet, I just get ignored after the first date or they lie to me and say they're busy....... I've done nothing but be there when everyone else needed someone to help them.... Where are my friends when I need help? When I need someone to talk to? When I just need a hug? When I'm crying and I need someone to comfort me? Where are they? I'll tell you where they are, they're too busy to even remember that I'm here. They're too busy to pick up the phone and call me for like five minutes or send me a fucking email. Yeah, tells me what kind of friends I have.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...
HAPPY FUCKING NEWYEARS...

OMG ITS SO TRUE

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 14:44:39 GMT

thoughts

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 12:54:09 GMT

I've lost about 10lbs in the last week. I havent felt like eating at all. I havent been myself lately. Even my dad has noticed something is wrong. A friend of mine said I should seek help for my depression. I tell him to fuck off. I tried to talk to someone who I used to love very much, but all I could say was "hey." I tried to call a friend the other day, but he was too busy to talk on the phone for more than a minute. I look into the mirror and I cry. I put my pretty dress on lastnight, the one I got so many compliments from. I took a picture of me wearing it and I showed it to a few people, only they decided to make fun. The last few guys I've went on a date with have all stopped talking to me. My sister keeps calling me for money, and she knows that I dont even have enough for a pack of ciggarettes. I'm a very unhappy person, and I'm not at all suprised that I no longer have anyone to talk to. When you complain about the same things to the same people, it gets old and they dont care to listen anymore. At the moment, all I ask for is a hug and someone to listen. I used to know a guy that no matter how bad I felt, he could always cheer me up. I miss him so much. He's not my friend anymore though, I doubt he even remembers my name, he's been calling me spanky for so long, it took me forever to get used to someone not calling me that everyday.
Hi, my name is Heather, and I have manic depression.

get it over with already

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 09:22:57 GMT

I'm so, so very tired of everything.

how now brown cow

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 23:10:44 GMT

i want a gun, a bullet, and some alcohol. thanks.

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 13:06:41 GMT

http://profiles.myspace.com/users/10187883

I have no life, thanks.
I have figured out that I must be one of the most boring people on the face of the planet. bleh... I'll just continue to download stuffs for my videogames, chatonline, and go to work.
My tab at the bar is starting to get high lol.

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 05:44:28 GMT

this is a convo that me and my exfiance were having.... (online.. because i dont feel like talking to him on the phone or hang out)

Jon: yeah i got the damn flu...
Heather : then dont come over here, bitch
Heather : i dont need to get sick
Jon: had it for 3 days now....lol... oh why not???.... i need a victim...jk
Heather : then get your fiance sick, not me
Jon: she's the one that gave it to me!!
Jon: oh speaking of her... she says hello and that she wants to meet you
Heather : ohokies
Heather : you guys want to hang out on saturday or something?
Jon: i said... "OH HELL NO"....lol...jk
Jon: right now she's in ft lauderdale for 3 weeks
Heather : ah
Heather : spiffy
Jon: yeah she delivers the little verizon phone books around florida...
Heather : ah ok
Jon: so she'll be gone for a few weeks
Jon: lol
Heather : i'm sure you'll live
Jon: oh yeah... you know it
Jon: she called me up today... and asked me some shit about why i didn't answer the phone at work today... i didn't even get no message from her calling...lol
Heather : aww
Heather : she's jealous
Jon: until i actually got home... cuz the lady in the office called here and told me...lol
Heather : its so cute
Jon: lmao
Heather : i can see it now, you'll be on the road and have a cell phone under the seat, and she'll scream at you because you didnt hear the phone ring
Heather : aww love, its a beautifull thing
Jon: lol... yeah you're probably right heather... and i will call you just to let you know that it actually happened
Heather : oh, i'm sure you'll let me know
Heather : dont say i didnt tell ya so
Jon: just to say you were right
Heather : she's prego now, its going to get ALOT worse
Heather : have fun
Heather : just think "april" additude
Jon: thanks
Heather : mmmmm pregos being pissy
Jon: great... i deal with it here at april's and then i get to deal with it on the road... FUCK YOU...lol
Heather : no thanks
Jon: i'm going to jinx you somehow...lol
Heather : yeah, you do that
Jon: you know you always kept me on my damn toes when we were together... and the sad thing is... you still do it today... almost 2 years later!!!
Jon: thanks
Jon: lol'
Heather : thats because i hate you
Heather : :D
Jon: i hope you don't mean that
Heather : hm... i'll get back to you on that
Jon: hmh
Heather : mmm i just caughed up a lung, sexy
Jon: nice
Jon: how big???
Jon: lol
Heather : wouldnt you like to know
Jon: the whole thing???
Jon: lol... not really
Heather : ok then
Jon: i know i been doing the same lately
Heather : i want to be a terrorist when i grow up, just for shock value... only because no one believes i could pull it off
Jon: lol... shit... with your smarts... you could pull ANYTHING off
Jon: and i mean that
Heather : mmmm smoking, i'm saving up for that iron lung i'll have when i'm 80
Jon: HAHAHA
Jon: can you get me one too???
Heather : fuck no
Heather : you get your own!
Heather : mine!
cadillac_802002: mine?
Jon: mine damnit
Heather : i want to be able to piss on your grave, so therefor, i have to live longer than you
Heather : so, i'm saving up for one now
Jon: fuck that shit... poor a beer on it so when i go to hell i can be drunk when i see my dad...lol
Heather : heh
Jon: brb
Jon: k i back
Heather : k
Heather : i didnt even notice you left